Musings of a former Bratinella

I’ve struggled on how to write my August / September in hindsight post, not because nothing happened in those months, but I’m struggling to find appropriate words that could do justice to the experience. This isn’t such an easy task if your views are tainted with bubble bursting experiences that somehow made you step back and rethink what and how things are really. It’s most appropriate to say that these months have revealed to me that Luxury can lose its luster and made me question why some people undergo great lengths just to appear deserving. I choose not delve so much into the experience (for fear of bursting someone else’s bubble) but rather, I’d focus on what I learned and what I wish to keep.

1. Sometimes passion is not enough to keep you going: We all have the tendency to surround ourselves with the things that tickle our fancies, most of us turn it into our livelihood, I did the same. Passion is a very strong word that we often misuse or if not take for granted. But somehow, sometimes, our love for certain subjects isn’t deep enough when greater sacrifices are required. After that fleeting moment of happiness, reality just hits you smack there, leaving with no choice but to turn your back and leave
2. Trying hard depends on ones perspective: I tried really hard to make my everyday appear meaningful, to the point that I was even lying to myself, in the hopes that I get convinced that what I was doing was right and I’m on track. But when you’ve got big ambitions and goals taking it slow and steady can be such a bore, why take the road trip when you can take the plane?
3. Women rule the world, and can be manipulative bitches: There’s a saying that goes “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world”, well it goes way after the cradle, I saw men, shelling out part of their life savings just to make their women happy and this wasn’t a usual occurrence. It’s a funny sight seeing big boys obsess over such a small thing that their loves will eventually bury in their closets. To those lucky girls who have thoughtful men in their lives, appreciate the effort (even if they got you the wrong size or your less desired color), not all girls are as lucky, in fact to this point I envy you.
4. Gossip Girls / Boys are most often insecure about themselves: I used to be guilty of this crime, I loved making chismis about other people. But it came to a point where I had no reason to pick on other people since I knew and felt that I was blessed. I may not have as much as some but I had more than enough to get by. Last year I came across people, who are supposed to be leagues up there than me but they bothered spreading things about me, honestly I think it made them / her look more stupid. If your motive is to destroy people make sure your audience is listening to you, or at least you are not guilty of the crime you are seeking justice for, not some social climbing wannabe, coz things back fire ya know.
5. It’s okay to work for useless crazy material things: In this world of self help, most of us strive to advocate the likes of Suze Orman for fear of being “Young, Fabulous and Broke” or being “stalked” by our own Derek Smeath. Who doesn’t love the feel of pure silk? the warmth of tweed? or the smell of leather? In this generation more than ever, nice material things are all abound and within our reach. I learned that the way to keep myself going or to motivate myself is to spoil myself, make myself feel important. Doesn’t matter if my shoes cost half my paycheck, I earned it anyway as long as (here are the disclaimers!) 1. I pay for it in cash up front 2. No interest rates involved 3. They only motivate me and not define me 4. Those purchases won’t get in the way of my daily spending, which means I can still settle my usual bills even after my purchase
6. People who have moolah are sometimes the most unassuming and grateful individuals: To put it bluntly, I was able to easily recognize posers and potential clients in just one look or even with just the tone of their voices. More often than not the loaded ones are more grounded and less demanding. Same goes with life I guess, fussy people are the ones with everything to lose while those who are easy to talk to are more assured of themselves.
7. Friends for keeps are still available even in a high glam workplace: I always had the notion that as I grew older, I had less and less chances of finding new friends. I was wrong. Even in such a discriminating workplace, I was able to find friends that I’d keep for life. Truth be told some of them are even more open and less demanding than those long time friends I had, you might argue that maybe we got along fine because we were in the same plight (usually cash strapped but hungry for nice things),  but fast forward to today, I still keep them close. Shopping, clubbing, dining and financial buddies that I’d definitely keep for life.
8. All we need is a humbling experience as a kick to keep us going: In hindsight, as this chapter of my life comes to close, I think the kick to keep me going was the most important gift I got. Sure, the bags, make-up, shoes and all were great, and I’m not complaining but when you leave all those things behind the real lessons are the ones that last and change our lives. I turned my back on that phase not knowing where to go or what to do next, but the kick was sure strong to keep me rolling to someplace more liberating and fulfilling, rolling to where I am NOW.

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